Musings

Fear of Regret

10:49 PM



Why do I fear regret?

My life has been blessed and full of good things. I had a happy childhood. My family loves me. I was allowed to pursue my own interests instead of conforming to those around me. And now I have a wonderful job that I adore, the opportunity to pretend I'm a triple threat, and a special little middle-grade novel simmering on the back stove, waiting for its time to shine. Thus far, I have no real regrets.

And yet I fear them.

I fear that one day I will wake up and regret that I did not chase the biggest dreams, the ones that called from far away, bright yet elusive. And that I will regret having lost the time for chasing them, and having settled for a normal life.

I fear that I might regret that I did chase those dreams; that they were so big and bright that they consumed me. And that I will regret the years I lost in chasing them, in trying too hard to grasp at something I could never reach.

I fear that I will have the opportunity to love, and that I will pass it by. And that one day I will regret it, and wish I had taken the chance when it stood before me.

I fear that I might take that chance at love, and jump too soon, and then realize with a shock that I have settled. And I will regret not waiting, not moving on, not holding out for the one that is my own.

I fear.
I fear regret.
And one day I will probably awaken and regret the years I spent fearing it.

There is too much joy, excitement and adventure ahead of me to waste my time with this burden.

I must be free of it. I must not fear. I must not regret.

-Amanda

My Work

Forgotten

12:25 AM

Usually, I plan.

Before I begin writing, I spend days, weeks, months, sometimes even years, planning what I will write. From beginning to end, chapter by chapter, fleshing out characters, filling plot holes, and trying to make sense of it all.

 And then, every once in a while, I write something with no planning, spur of the moment, just for fun.

 A few days ago I wrote a tiny piece, inspired by the #mythicalworld contest on Figment.com. The prompt was to write a story, 500 words or fewer, that takes place in my favorite mythical world. I chose my favorite place, which I really believe to be non-mythical.


 Please read, and if you've got an account on Figment, give it a heart, reaction, or review. Any little bit of feedback is always helpful.

-Amanda 

P.S. I'm super, super close to finishing up another "just for fun" short story that ended up becoming a novella, and took me couple of years to wrap up. My more important work always takes precedence, but when I've got "Miss Oliver" fully released online, then this little work will also get to make its debut. :)