Writer's Brain

I live in a book.

8:15 PM

Everyone wants their life to count.

We all have a story; full of struggles, victories, hardships, excitement, love, and laughter. Each one is different. Some are grander than others, but none of them are less than unique. And every human being wants the world to know their story. We want people to understand us, to feel for us, and to cheer us onward. We imagine ourselves as the hero or heroine of a work that will become a classic.

But the medium in which we imagine ourselves is different for everyone.

I have often heard friends describe incidents in their lives as "something out of a movie." Perhaps they saw themselves as the main character in an Austen novel, being rescued from their distress by a handsome Mr. Darcy (atop a white stallion - duh). Perhaps they had a day that was like something out of an epic action/adventure film, finished off with a sunset so glorious that they could almost hear a film score playing in the background. (Roll credits!)

I've experienced some similar moments, but it's always kind of made me laugh. How silly, to imagine my life as if it were a movie!

I've also heard people say they feel like they're living in a sitcom. Seriously, could their lives get any more cliché and ridiculous? Probably not. Every character is a character, and sometimes they feel like they're the only one who's got their head on straight, and actually gets the jokes.

I'm the oldest in a huge family, with an even huger extended family. I've seen some sitcom-ish moments. But how silly, to imagine myself as living in a giant sitcom?

I turn up my nose at such silliness. I am not so shallow. To continuously relate my life to something played out on the small or silver screen would be so ridiculous. Thank goodness I only slip up every once in a while. I am so much more sophisticated than all that.

I am such a hypocrite.

I imagine myself as living inside a book.

It's the medium that I prefer. Movies are fun, sitcoms are amusing, even radio can have its moments. But there is nothing, truly nothing like being swept off my feet by a good novel. It can turn an ordinary day into something exciting.

So there might not be a laugh track, or a beautiful sunset and romantic music, but as the moments of my life go by I see them as pages turning... covered in words, phrases, poetry, and lots of adjectives. ;) I have always dreamed of being a writer. And, more than anything, I wanted to write my own story. And I wanted people to read it, to understand, and to applaud.

Growing up and reading the endless biographies of my favorite authors, missionaries, and people who changed the world, I wondered how my own biography would read. (I think I even started writing one when I was eleven years old. Come on, tell me you didn't do the same thing!)

I wanted my story to be exciting, inspiring, and to matter to others. I wanted a remarkable life. And I hoped that someday people would see a bit more of who I am.... not on the screen in some academy award winning biopic, but between the pages of a book.

I still do. As silly as it may sound, I want to be the literary heroine of my own story. I want to live in a book.

Where do you live? :)


P.S. So sorry that I feel that books are the superior medium for life. You don't have to agree, and I'll try not to look down my nose at you. ;)



8:00 PM

Today I like the idea of writing; all the inspired words pouring out in a torrent, overwhelming me, and developing my characters and plot so quickly that I can hardly keep up. Awesome. My head is so full of ideas, all clamoring for attention and shrieking at the top of their lungs to get out. It would be the easiest thing for me to just sit down, open up an empty document, and let it all tumble free.

Right? I'm feeling inspired, aren't I? This should be easy.

But wait. There's so many things on my "to-do" list today. So many important things. Now that I think about it, I'm really pressed for time.

I can do this. I sit down and shut my "thinking" brain off. I open the story document. (That's a good girl, Amanda! You can do it!) I write a few sentences. Darn, I forgot to switch that load of laundry. Mum really wants to put in another wash. I should get up and switch it so she'll be happy, and I'll be a good daughter, and all will be right with the world.

Yeah, I am superwoman. Look at me, getting stuff done!

I sit back down. I really haven't checked my email in a while. And I'm expecting an email about my nannying schedule this week. It won't hurt to take a quick peek.

A few quick peeks later, I am back on the document, typing away. Ahh... I think it's coming together now. I haven't been distracted from my writing in a while. Yeah, it's nice not to be distracted. You know, I should really check all the other things I have on my "to-do" list, so that when I finish writing I can jump right into the next thing. That way I'll be way more productive.

Ok, so I rearranged my whole "to-do" list. That was satisfying. Back to my story!

I wonder if I would feel more inspired if I was listening to some music. I jump onto Cinemix.us or open it in iTunes. Ahh... this is much better. Listening to soundtracks is inspiring without being distracting. Wait, this song sounds familiar. Could it be composed by Rachel Portman? I take a peek. Oh yes, I am so smart. I'd recognize an opening title by Rachel Portman anywhere.

Alright then, MUST FOCUS. I won't check any more of the music titles, even the ones that sound familiar, and I'm sure would bring up some glorious childhood memory, and remind me of that fabulous movie that I really should show my little sisters some time. Write. Write. Write.

I wonder what the Olympic medal count is. U.S.A. had better have the most gold medals or my siblings are going to be ticked. Now that I think of it, I haven't checked ANY of the latest news in a while. It's been like a whole day since I saw what was happening in the world. Maybe just a quick peek at Google News... just to read the Entertainment column, anyway.

NO. Must write. Nothing else. Write. Write. Write.

Ok, so if I write 200 more words without stopping, I'll reward myself by checking the Google News page. Ok? Ok. Write. Write. Write.

YAY! I made it. Now I can go and see what's going on in the world!

Bleh. Nothing interesting. I can't believe that movie made that much money. This is ridiculous.

Ok, back to writing. Write. Write. Wri- Oh wait, I am definitely out of time for today. I've got to practice voice and answer a couple of important emails before I run out to of the house to pick up the kids I watch. Priorities. Right.

Bye bye, half-filled page of words! I'll deal with you tomorrow.


This is me on almost every day of the week.

What distracts YOU while writing? How do you overcome it (or do you just give in)? Please, chime in so that I don't feel like the only loser here. ;)